15, No 17, Things I Wished I Had Learned Before Turning 50

15, No 17, Things I Wished I Had Learned Before Turning 50 (Part 6)

Thanks for dialing in with me on this new week of Freedom Fighter blogs. If you have been reading lately, I have been sharing lessons I have learned that I wished I had learned earlier in my life.

Here’s 11 & 12 …

11. Encourage more and criticize less.

Have you figured out that for some reason it is so much easier to criticize than encourage. Criticism seems to roll off our tongues so easily, while encouragement takes intentionality and thought.

For those of us who are Dads, we really need to be much more intentional about criticism and encouragement when it comes to our kids.

When coming to America’s Keswick, my spiritual Dad, Pastor Bill Raws and I had a great relationship. We met every Tuesday morning to pray and think through the ministry. For five years every time we met Pastor Bill shared all the things I was doing wrong and his frustrations with the ministry.

I would hear positive things about my ministry and the things I was doing right from others that Pastor Bill shared with. While I appreciated the encouragement from the backdoor, but it was really important for me to hear the encouragement from him. It was oxygen to my soul to know that the things I was trying to accomplish were in line with his. I still needed to hear the criticism, but hearing the encouragement made the criticism easier to handle.

Criticism will help us grow and be more effective in our leadership. But I am convinced that it would have much more of a positive impact if we coupled it with encouragement.

Be liberal and intentional with encouragement. Be cautious and balanced with criticism.

12. Become a good listener. The Scriptures remind is to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Notice how often we flip the verse. We are quick to speak and slow to listen. If you want to know if you are a good listener, listen to how many times people say to you, “You are not hearing what I have to say,” or hear the statement, “He doesn’t hear a word I am saying.”

Listening involves giving the one speaking our undivided attention. I used to pride myself on being able to multi-task. Now I understand from experience that this is not something to be proud of. 

My son Zach caught on pretty quickly as a young child that I wasn’t hearing him. One day he placed his little hands on my face and said, “Dad, look at me and listen.” Ouch!

It took me a long time to understand that sometimes (most times) Jan wants me to just listen and hear her heart when she needs to vent or talk out something. We men want to FIX IT – our mates want us to just listen.

By the way – much of our prayer life is like this – we do most of the talking and very little listening!

If you have lessons like this that you have learned, please share them with me. We are winding down with this series, and after I finish my list, I will post some of the lessons you have share with me.  Have a great week, men. – Bill Welte is President & CEO of America’s Keswick

Team YOU: 2 Chronicles 4-6; Proverbs 28; John 10:22-42

Motivations: We need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. He is nearer than our own soul, closer than our most secret thoughts. A. W. Tozer

Practice to Remember: Level 1: Ephesians 6:18; Level 2: Ephesians 6:21-24

Powered Up:  Mark this! Make your amen strong, never doubting that God is surely listening to you. This is what amen means: that I know with certainty that this prayer has been heard by God. – Martin Luther