Forgiveness is one thing; reconciliation is another Part 1

Good morning, brothers. One of my good friends, Pastor Steve Cornell, Senior Pastor of Millersville Bible Church, sent me this and it was too good to not pass on to you. This is part one, tomorrow will be part two.

Forgiveness is one thing; Reconciliation is another
By Steve Cornell

"He said I am sorry but this is at least the tenth time! I don't know what to do. I am told that it's my Christian duty to forgive so I try to do it. But each time I forgive him, he changes for a little while and then returns to the same behavior. I have a gut feeling that I am handling things the wrong way. He never really changes and I just get angry. What should I do?"

Sound familiar? People facing circumstances like this must learn to distinguish forgiveness from reconciliation. Forgiveness is always required by God. Jesus clearly warned that God will not forgive our sins if we do not forgive those who sin against us (see: Matthew 6:14-15; Mark 11:25).

It's not that we earn God's forgiveness by forgiving others; instead, God expects forgiven people to forgive (See: Matthew 18:21-35). Yet forgiveness is different from reconciliation. It's possible to forgive someone without offering immediate reconciliation. It's possible for forgiveness to occur in the context of one's relationship with God apart from contact with an offender.

An excellent example of this is found in the Old Testament character Joseph. After being betrayed and sold as a slave by his brothers, Joseph was separated from his father for many years. We can be certain that Joseph struggled in prayer over his hardships. "How could my brothers do such an evil thing against me?" "Why did God allow all of it to happen?"
Joseph probably worked through several dark nights of the soul. But he arrived at the right conclusion.

Whenever faced with mistreatment, we also have options about how we respond to it. Our choices (bitterness or forgiveness) will then have generational affects! (See: Genesis 50:20). Since Joseph did not have access to his brothers, evidently he had forgiven them long before they confessed their wrongs. If he had not forgiven them, he would have allowed bitterness to destroy his effectiveness for God (Hebrews 12:15).

So Joseph forgave his brothers in the context of his relationship with God based on two things:

1) God's authority as the Judge: "God is judge, not me."

Joseph's brothers were fearful that he would seek retaliation for the wrong they had done to him. But Joseph said to them: "Do not be afraid, am I in the place of God?" This truth is stated in Romans 12:19, "Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is
written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay says the Lord." (See also:
Genesis 45:1-7;50:15-20).

2) God's control of His life: "God is in control, not my offender."

Joseph said to his brothers, "You intended to harm me but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Gen. 50:20). Here Joseph confessed that God (not his offenders) is the Lord of his circumstances. This truth is echoed in Romans 8:28, "
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. " Joseph accepted the mystery of God's providence by faith. A third basis for forgiveness emphasized repeatedly in the New Testament is:

3) God's forgiveness of our sins: "God has forgiven me, I must forgive"

"Forgive each other just as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).When offended, forgiveness means I surrender attitudes of revenge to God in recognition of his authority, providential purpose and forgiveness of my sins. But this can take place in the context of my relationship with God apart from my offender. Forgiveness can occur apart from the confession and repentance of the offender.

I will share Part 2 tomorrow.

Great Quote: Knowledge is vain and fruitless which is not reduced to practice.

Matthew Henry