Reconciliation Part 5

RECONCILATION PART 5

Here is the last part (I promise) from Steve Cornell's article on Forgiveness and Reconciliation. You can now download the entire article http://www.americaskeswick.org/conf/documents/ForgivenessisOneThingRecon
ciliationisAnother.pdf.

6. Be objective about your hesitancy -Perhaps you have good reasons for being hesitant to

reconcile, but they must be objectively stated. Sometimes, for example, repeated confessions and

offenses of the same nature make it understandably hard for trust to be rebuilt. This is an

objective concern. Clearly define your reasons for doubting your offender's sincerity.

_

7. Be clear about the guidelines for restoration -Establish clear guidelines for restoration.

Requirements like restitution can be clearly understood. Others include financial accountability,

holding down a job, and putting away substances. _



8. Be realistic about the process -Change often requires time and hard work. Periodic failure

by an offender does not always indicate an unrepentant heart. Behavior patterns often run in deep

channels. They can place a powerful grip on a person's life. A key indicator for change is the

attitude of the offender. While you may proceed with some caution, be careful about demanding

guarantees from a person who has truly expressed repentance. If the person stumbles, the process

of loving confrontation, confession, and forgiveness may need to be repeated . Setbacks and

disappointments are often part of the process of change. Don't give up too easily on process of

reconciliation. Keep the goal of a fully restored relationship open.


9. Be mindful of God's control -"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to

man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but

with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it" (1

Corinthians 10:13). "We know that God works all things together for good for those who love

him and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). "When you are having a hard time

forgiving someone (i.e. being restored), take time to note how God may be using that offense for

good. Is this an unusual opportunity to glorify God? How can you serve others and help them

grow in their faith? What sins and weaknesses of yours are being exposed? What character

qualities are you being challenged to exercise? When you perceive that the person who has

wronged you is being used as an instrument in God's hand to help you mature, serve others, and

glorify him, it may be easier for you to move ahead with forgiveness (i.e. restoration)" (Ken

Sande, p.165;cf. Hebrews 12:7;I Pet.2:23b; 4:19). (Italicized words added). _



10. Be alert to Satan's schemes -In Ephesians 4:27, the apostle warns about the possibility of

giving Satan an opportunity in our lives. Significantly, this warning is given in the context of

unchecked anger. A few verses later, the Apostle wrote, " Let all bitterness and wrath and anger

and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another,

tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore be

imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave

Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God" (Ephesians 4:29-5:2). Meditate on these

words and put them into practice! (See also: II Corinthians 2:14; Hebrews 12:15). _

Steve Cornell_ --Senior Pastor of Millersville Bible Church

Great Quote - If God abides in my home, His presence cannot be hidden. Anonymous